Monday, June 6, 2011

Escaped Kittens Take Ducklings Hostage; Holed Up In Warehouse on Southwest Side of Indianapolis

Mittens McSpangle
INDIANAPOLIS --  At about 9 this morning the Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department reported that the kittens, Muffins McSnugglepants and Mittens McSpangle, who broke out of the Speedway Jail early Sunday morning, barricaded themselves in an abandoned warehouse near Kentucky Avenue and High School Road on the far southwest side of Indianapolis.  According to an eyewitness report, Mittens took two ducklings hostage during their escape and are now holding those ducklings against their will at the warehouse.

IMPD and Speedway officers have encircled the warehouse and are demanding that the kittens voluntarily surrender.   Police exchanged several rounds of gunfire with the kittens.  Thus far there have been no injuries.

Muffins McSnugglepants
Public Safety Director Frank Straub, who was asked about the kitten escape and hostage situation, had this to say:
"I am deeply concerned about media reports about the Speedway kittens that fail to mention that I am a DOCTOR.  It is DOCTOR Frank Straub.  Today I am convening an emergency meeting with Chief of Police Paul Ciesielski to discuss PR concerns and media coverage of this event.  I am a DOCTOR, dammit, and the media is going to report that fact."
This blog and the blog Indy Democrat will continue to cover this story as it develops.  Should Mr. Straub say anything newsworthy that will be reported as well.

1 comment:

Ghostwriter Judiciary said...

And this one is not a joke...|topnews|text|