Drunken Woman Assaults Santa Claus; Reportedly Fine To Make Rounds On December 25th

The Star reports:

A woman Downtown was arrested on Monday for assaulting Santa Claus and public intoxication.

Two acquaintances also were held on public intoxication charges, and all three were booked for possession of alcohol by a minor.

The incident happened at the Pennsylvania Street plaza outside Conseco Fieldhouse before the Milwaukee Bucks-Indiana Pacers game about 6:45 p.m. Monday, according to a report from the Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department.

Police were watching the crowd outside Conseco Fieldhouse when they saw a woman take a picture of a man portraying Santa, then rip the beard off Santa's face.

Officers checked the Santa's helper, who told them it hurt when the firmly attached beard was ripped away. The Santa also said it appeared the woman who pulled the beard was extremely intoxicated.

Police followed the woman inside Conseco Fieldhouse and found she had a bottle of vodka hidden under her shirt. That woman, a 19-year-old from Carmel, was arrested for misdemeanor battery. Two others, a 19-year-old man from Indianapolis and an 18-year-old woman from Zionsville, were also arrested when police found they were intoxicated.

I'm sure I can come up with a good punch line if I have enough time. In the meantime, feel free to insert your own joke.